- so i´m not supposed to feel bad coz i´m a crappy person?
- guess not.
- well then... i can´t handle that.
- why not?
- self punishment.
- so...?
- you know what this means. you know how i am.
- do i ?
- you do,don´t you?
- what if i say i don´t?
- then i´d be glad.
- like hysteraclly glad?
- not really,it´d be most likely some sort of... silent happiness maybe?
- why is that?
- why?do you prefer seeing me hysterical or something?
- don´t try to change focus, you know what i mean.
- yes, i know.
- you know sometimes i feel like i don´t really get what you think about us
- i love you. and that´s all about me getting wrapped and you getting further
- still don´t get it
-that´s okay. sometimes i don´t get myself either. do you remember that book you gave me when you went away?
[pissed]
- "when you went away" . it sounds like i wanted to go, you know i didn´t want to, you know that. it feels like i´m gonna be punished for that the rest of my life. it wasn´t my fault, don´t be so judgemental.
- if you could just stop misinterpretating me you´d have noticed that i´m not judging you. i don´t think it was your fault. do you really think that of me?
- sometimes i think i do.
- why? when did i?....
- that´s not a big something like an isolated fact in a specific day, but "nasty little somethings" that you say occasionally
- so i hurt you "occasionally" ?
- actually more often than you might guess.You´re arid sometimes.
- i´m sorry. that´s who i am.
- so what about the book? Bukowski,right?
- that´s correct.
- what about it?
- i don´t know there´s something about it that makes me sick.
- don´t blame me. you picked it. and you know why it makes you feel that way.
- it´s way too dirty. as i wanted to be.as i´m not.
- do you hate me?
- you got really worried about that , didn´t you?
- yes. was it true?
- no. i figured out i used to hate someone else instead.
- what do you think about us?
- i think i love you, i think you´re meaninful. i think i´m always too overwhelmed by all this. you´re a concept .what do you like me the most?
- you´re sweet.
- i thought i was "arid".
[torn]
-yes but, well..i..nevermind.
- i miss you.
- i miss you too.
- when am i gonna see you again? for real?
- i don´t know. i wish i could make it all go away fast.
- i know that. I gotta go. goodbye.
- i´m gonna stay here for a while. i still have 4 hours to wake up. I love you.
- be with me today.
- i am already.